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Eight Things of Stuff

"The Poor Design is Part of it"

  • Writer's pictureE.Z. Rinsky

Eight Yelp reviews for sex

1) “Felt like the actress I was pressuring wasn't really into it. Three stars."

2) “Was definitely anxious, but Paul helped me relax by ordering me ten shots of Hennessy.”

3) “At first I was like ‘inseminate your own mare,’ but once I got going it was alright.”

4) “Help!! Can never remember which way is the gay way!!”

5) “Not bad, but the look in Tom Cruise’s eyes toward the end kinda freaked me out.”

6) “Still the most efficient way to propagate the species."

7) “Meaningful, intimate, profound… I’m so glad I waited until marriage to buy a thesaurus.”

8) “Gross.”


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