1) Utter contempt for all authority figures.
2) Difficulty processing information that's not arranged in lists of exactly eight.
3) Steel spike protruding from skull has historically been distracting to coworkers.
4) Sometimes we just care too much, you know? Also, we have lice.
5) Find we have trouble working for more than five consecutive minutes without masturbating.
6) Occasional difficulty recognizing other humans as sentient beings that can feel pain.
7) Technically, we're not really allowed to work anywhere that's not in prison.
8) Extreme disinterest in anything not directly related to ourselves.
